by Jimmy Jacob on Wednesday, December 7th, 2011 - - 2 CommentsCheating, Confessions, Free dating, Personals Facts
Last night, after I had embarrassed myself silly be putting up the worst thing you could read on a free dating blog yesterday, I went to the movies with my friends and then I went home and decided to watch a movie ironically called Last Night. The movie was about a couple going through martial problems. The husband was attracted to his co-worker (played by the always tempting Eva Mendes) and his wife was emotionally connected to her ex lover. The husband ends up cheating on his wife and the wife ends up emotionally cheating on her husband. But who is more in the wrong?
Physical cheating and emotional cheating are two totally different beasts if you ask me and quite honestly, I think emotional cheating can be worse. The only reason I know this is because earlier this year, I had been caught emotionally cheating on my girlfriend.
If you have been reading Personals Facts for a while, you might re-call how I dated a girl and we ended up breaking up because of my psycho ex and my own insecurities. Well, this summer I had finally reignited the spark with Beth and everything was fun at first. We went to concerts and gained 10 pounds from eating out at restaurants when we actually got the energy to get out of bed.
However, a few months ago something bad happened. I haven’t really talked about it on here before, but I think I’m ready to open up. My best friend since I was five years old passed away due to an AIDS-related illness. It was devastating and still affects me everyday. There is not one day I don’t think about him and after that, I just wasn’t the same.
I felt disconnected to Beth and it wasn’t because I was going through a horrible tragedy, but because this horrible tragedy reminded me how short and fleeting life really is. I was starting to realize that getting back with Beth wasn’t the best idea. She wasn’t THE ONE. She just reminded me of THE ONE. And well, if you have been reading this blog recently, you know who I am talking about.
So instead of telling Beth the truth she needed to hear, I omitted my real feelings. I was vulnerable and I needed her company. I kept convincing myself that I could be happy with her. But, I kept thinking of Sabrina. I kept thinking I needed to talk to her…she was the only one who would be able to say the right things I needed to hear.
So I got the courage to email her. Sabrina and I emailed each other everyday and those emails lead to an endless string of text messages. I thought I wasn’t doing anything wrong or at least I convinced myself that I wasn’t.
I don’t know when Beth found out. Maybe it was when I kept taking my phone to the bathroom with me when I took a shower or maybe it was when I almost had a heart attack when I grabbed my laptop to log off before she used it, but she eventually caught on to the fact that something was up. She then had her own plan up her sleeve. It was simple and clever and unfortunately it worked.
One day I received a text from Sabrina on my cell phone. Seeing her name pop up on my blackberry screen gave me my first smile of the day. She had asked ” Thinking of u….r u thinking of me?”
I should have known from that text alone that something was up. Sabrina is always grammatically correct when it comes to texting. No computer acronyms ever in her speech–which is another reason why I adored her so much.
So I responded. I told her that I was always thinking of her and I wish I could have her right beside me so I could hold her, kiss her and etc. etc.
No response back. An hour went by and then I heard a knocking on my front door. I answered it and saw Beth. Her face was drenched with fresh tears and she slapped me. I was flabbergasted. I had no idea what I had done to deserve the slap. That was when she showed me her phone. She told me that while I was in the shower the day before at her place (obviously one day I had forgotten to bring my phone into the bathroom) that she had replaced Sabrina’s number with her own. So when I text Sabrina, I was really texting her instead.
Pure genius. I just wish I wasn’t the one that it happened to. I apologized profusely for what I did, but it didn’t matter. The damage was already done. I had broken Beth’s heart and I did it all through emotional betrayal.
That’s why I think emotional cheating is worse than physical cheating and if you ever find yourself doing this in your own relationship, come clean and break up because eventually it will blow up in your face and you will end up hurting someone you care about.