Why Black Women Should Give White Guys A Chance
by Jimmy Jacob on Tuesday, January 17th, 2012 - 19 Comments - Biracial, Confessions, Love
If you have been following Personals Facts for a while, you know that I’m a white boy who loves beautiful black and biracial ladies. Like my favorite actor, Robert Deniro, I admire and am attracted to black women for their confidence, their tenacity and their undeniable achievements in the face of great adversity.
However, when I was growing up, hooking up with a lovely soul sistah wasn’t easy.
When I was fifteen years old, I fell for a black girl named Nicole in one of my classes. When I divulged my infatuations for her in a letter in class, the next day she patted my back and told me she couldn’t go out with me because I wasn’t black. She then handed me a previously used cassette of Simply Red as a consolation prize and went on her way.
Yeah.
I like to say that things got easier when I got older but most times when I tried to show off my best moves on black ladies, I have always been rejected and mocked greatly for it.
That’s why today I am standing up to the plate to explain why black women should give white boys like myself a chance. Here are my reasons and hopefully no death threats come from this. 
We All Don’t Like Country Music
One of the reasons why I know a lot of black women are not attracted to white men is because they think we all listen to Garth Brooks, 30 Seconds To Mars and anything dealing with a shotgun and a drinking problem. That is simply not true. There are some of us that actually appreciate soul music. I myself listen to Erykah Badu, Keith Washington, Raphael Saadiq, Bahamadia, Aya, After 7 and all sorts of ol skool, acid jazz, motown and soul songs on a daily basis. Look at Robin Thicke for example. His father is one of the whitest men in the world and he is one of the only mainstream artists trying to keep soul alive without using autotune. (Plus, he is married to the hottest woman on this planet, but that is besides the point.)
We’re White…Not extra-terrestrials
I swear to God on this…every time I asked a black woman to go out with me, they looked at me like I was E.T. asking to go home with a handful of Reese’s Pieces in my hand. Just because we’re white doesn’t mean we should be looked at like we have tentacles or something. We’re white…not Marvin The Martian.
We Are Trained To Provide
Now this is not a racist statement but every white guy (including myself) loses sleep over the idea of constantly providing for their women. I can tell you right now this is due to our huge male egos and to be quite honest, it’s insane why we are trained to think our women are damsels in distress–but hey, it’s a form of sexism women can actually benefit from. If you want a man who thinks his number one purpose is to provide for a woman, date a dopey white guy like me!
Have Some Mixed Babies!
Okay, so I know a lot of black women hate the light-skinned sistas, but let’s face it: the idea of having a beautiful mixed baby is on a lot people’s minds right now. It doesn’t even matter if you have a baby with the ugliest white guy on the planet, chances are your kid will be gorgeous. I have seen very few biracial babies that are hard on the eyes.
If You Ask Us To Put A Ring On It, We Will
After twenty-five, many white guys conform to society’s expectations such as getting a house, getting married and having kids. (Generally in that same boring order.) If you are a strong black woman, most likely you will end up with a white man who is passive to keep things balanced. Trust me, if you ask him to put a ring on it….he will…simply in fear of pissing you off.
We Like To Go “Down Town”
You know what I’m talking about, ladies. I can say right now that some of my friends like to call me a “Battyboy” for my willingness and joy from orally pleasuring the ladies I’m dating. If you give, you shall receive. That’s this white boy’s motto. (P.S. how am I considered gay if I like going down on women? An inquiring white guy wants to know.)
So that’s my list. Sure some of things on this list are superficial and may not apply to all white men but I am all about interracial dating. Love is color blind and if you truly care about someone, then the color of their skin should not matter. If you close yourself to dating outside of your race, you might miss out on something great.
I've never dated a non-Black man, but I'm open to it, in theory. In practice, the only White males that have approached me have done so in a drunken stupor, out of a macho conquest, or because they exoticize Black women sexually. All of those methods make me uncomfortable. If a White man came correct and we vibed, I'd date him. Many in my family have done interracial dating. But I currently have a Black boyfriend, so all of this is hypothetical.
As long as you're open to it, that's all that matters. However, I'm happy that you have found love with someone that treats you well!
This is a good list, definitely funny. There are a few things left off, which could only come from a black woman's perspective.
1) Family response– though I'm a biracial child, my siblings aren't and if I were to bring home a white guy that boy would need to walk on water and breathe fire to pass the test. Otherwise there would always be awkward silences.
2) Family drama– this may just be my family, but coming from a low income neighborhood, "Hood" mentality permeates our existence. I would need someone who wouldn't be uncomfortable in questionable situations.
3) Can he dance– I love to go dancing, so I need a guy who has rhythm or would be willing to try. I know it's a huge stereotypes that white boys have no rhythm, so I try to keep an open mind.
Overall, I'm a easy dater. If you approach me correctly, no matter what race, I will at least give you a piece of my time even if I don't always give you my number. I've noticed that white boys have horrible misconceptions about black girls too
1) I like country music. I'm a huge fan of Billy Currington, the Dixie Chicks. I also like folk music and old school rock & roll. You'd be surprised what's on my ipod lol.
2) I'm not ghetto. I was living in Russia and this southern white boy said to me: I didn't know they made black girls like you smart, educated, worldly; you're pretty cool. Its frustrating to spend valuable time trying to prove that he can be comfortable around you.
3)Black women are passive too. I know that the notion of a strong, independent, black woman is broadcast across the media, but it gets tiring. Everyone woman, no matter what race, is strong and willing to relinquish control (a little) when she's in a secure, trusting, comfortable relationship. Now working up to that with a black woman may be harder than most lol, but if you're up for the challenge it's worth it.
lol Awww. I lived in Cambodia from age 7-12, and there weren't that many black people around. The first couple of guys who liked me were white, and one of my crushes was white, and the other was white + Khmer. And then I met a black boy, and the rest was history. Haha.
There's just something about my brothas that appeals to me. Therein lies my preference, without a doubt. However, I recently decided to re-open myself to the idea of dating white (and other) men. Should one to whom I'm attracted and with whom I share common goals and pleasures come by, I'll definitely give him a shot.
I grew up in a predominately white environment, therefore, I've always been attracted to white men. I've even dated a few. It's funny, because I've always thought white men were more traditional than black men were & everyone looked at me crazy when I said I'd probably end up with a white husband! Although there were those cultural differences, I found dating white men no different than dating black men. I'll probably always be open to it. The problem is, not enough white men will openly approach a black woman!
Hey Tramaine,
I'm glad to hear that you are open to interracial dating! It's a shame that it's still considered taboo with others though.
Who said they have to approach you, lovely?
If you see a guy you like, go after him. A lot of white guys are like me…and are scared of instantly be turned down. Give it a try!
There is a difference between liking to go downtown and actually being very good at it! Just wanted to point that out. So what's the white boy stats on being good? lol
Very convincing list, I liked the put a ring on it bid.
@SheTraces- Good point! lol However, I have never received complaints…mastered that technique years ago.
"every time I asked a black woman to go out with me, they looked at me like I was E.T. asking to go home with a handful of Reese’s Pieces in my hand."
THIS^^^^^^^^
OMG you made me laugh at the end of my work day which was much needed.
I think you know where I stand on the subject from a previous post. I love men period
If there were only more ladies like you, Nina.
Glad to have made you laugh…even if it was at my own expense! 
That's all I have ever dated was white men. Not by preference, but because of the what we had in common. Music, concerts (I listened to Heavy Metal)and sports. I never had problem dating a white guy, but some of my so-called friends didn't like it. Needless to say, I am no longer friends with them, but I didn't care what they thought anyway. In one ear and out the other.
Another factor to consider is that I live in California and interracial relationships are the "norm" out here. We don't have too many "neighborhoods" where there is predominately one race in a certain area and another race in another area. That is just weird to me. It's a wash of everyone and I mean everyone all together.
All of my neighbors are someone of a different race and it's the way I prefer it. I think that is why I continue to live on the West coast because it's more accepted.
I loved this post allot. Thanks for including in the tweet.
Hey Sonia,
Thank you for this comment and I'm glad that you enjoyed this article as much as I love reading your blog.
Here in Toronto, it's very multi-cultural…unfortunately there's still that underlining prejudice with sticking to your own race.
Welp you convinced me. I'm open to dating a white guy.
What convinced you…my last paragraph?
Well Jimmy; at least you are honest about your own feelings. I'm not so sure if they translate over to the White male masses however. I prefer White men and my BF now is White. Yet I've struggled time and time again with White men seeing me as marriage material and them dragging their feet on introducing them to family (in regards to friends…it can be a crapshot). In too many instances, the White man just wants to live out a fantasy and "experience" a Black woman. They can't deal with the 'otherness' over the long term (and the looks and racism that comes along with it). Ironically my White BF was raised in a Black neighborhood and is more "Black" from a cultural perspective than I am (due to my 1st generation American status).
Maybe you're coming across as insincere when you use terms such as 'soul sistah' and trying to reinforce your 'blackness' by listing your music preferences. Who you are shouldn't be defined by how you speak or what you listen to. Nor should it affect social interaction, but it does…doesnt it.
"Have Some Mixed Babies!" *rolls eyes* you're obsessed with biracialism.
And why is that a bad thing?
Love. Very true! I've dated both black and white guys and I don't know if I can say I have a preference. I just found your blog so I'm not sure if you have it or not but there should be a follow-up post about "Why white guys should give black women a chance".