Is Twitter The New Relationship Killer?
by Jimmy Jacob on Tuesday, February 7th, 2012 - 17 Comments - Confessions, Relationships, Twitter
It’s no secret that the more technology evolves, the more chaos we bring into our own personal dating lives. Knowing this fact early on, I have avoided the hurdles of texting and contacting any attractive acquaintance on FaceBook. I even avoided adding the FaceBook Timeline and I’m telling you, if you added it, you’re just asking for trouble. (Click HERE to find out why.)
So for the last little while, I have been on cloud nine and proud of the fact that I have no dirt on me whatsoever when it comes to social media networks. You can even say I have been smug about it when listening to my boys complain to me that their girlfriends are pissed at them for accepting a friend request from an old friend. (Rookies.)
However, I didn’t account for TWITTER.
Recently, I came home and my girlfriend was not a happy camper. Apparently I was in the doghouse for tweeting too many women on my Twitter account.
For real?
Thinking this was just her insecurities, I blew it off until I recently received some emails from some fellow twiends about how their significant others are slightly perturbed over our friendly “twirting” sessions.
Give me a f*cking break.
I’m sorry, but anybody in any relationship who brings up Twitter (and doesn’t have a Twitter account, mind you) as a means of betrayal in the relationship has some insecurities to definitely sort out.
True intimacy and trust should not be broken over a two-sentence update. No relationship should be in jeopardy because you added a winking face emoticon at the end of your meaningless tweet either. Also, your loyalty shouldn’t be questioned based on your follower list!!
I find Twitter to be cyber-stalker friendly because unlike FaceBook, you don’t need to add somebody to read their tweets. (Unless you lock up your account and if you’re in a relationship, that just makes you look like you actually do have something to hide.) You don’t even need to have Twitter to look up on somebody’s updates either.
I’m sorry, but unless your lover tweets something like “Hey sexy! FML! my GF is nagging me 4 realz. Wanna hang out l8r? #donewithrelationships “ then you have no grounds for accusing your lover of betraying you. In fact, they should question why you’re looking for “twirt” on them in the first place.
If you’re a tweeting fiend, then you know what you’re doing. You know you’re putting out things for the whole world to see and if you tweeted something that could possibly get you in trouble with your significant other, then you’re dumb as “twuck.”
The reason why I enjoy Twitter so much is because since over 60 percent of the North American population is on the social network, it gives me the chance to converse with amazing people I would have never met otherwise and the fact that I write about dating and relationships, I’m already expected to have more female readers than male readers and I won’t censor myself just so significant other can feel at ease.
And do you want to know why?
It’s because although Twitter is great, it’s not a substitute for real-life experiences and the creation of meaningful real-life relationships. I dig my Twiends, (they get me through my workday) but at the end of the day, I want to go home and spend hours saying things I couldn’t possibly fit into a hundred tweets to the woman I love and have been thinking about all day.
Sometimes, a tweet is just a tweet and if you can’t even accept that, then maybe you need to tweet your relationship good-bye. (Okay, I will stop with the Twitter analogies. )
So what do you guys think? Do you have any bad experiences with Twitter in regards to your relationships? If you dig this article, Retweet it to your followers with the hashtag, #Stopstalkingmytweets.
Agreed
You mean..all those tweets were meaningless?! Jerk! I really bought all your useless winks!
Haha. Anyway, Twitter can be an issue if the SO is flirting excessively, but people shouldn't take issue simply because most conversations are being held with someone of the opposite sex. Nonetheless, you may be able to say otherwise in your case, but Twitter is by no means a safe grounds by mere virtue of it being public. People abuse it all the time, so SOs concerns are not altogether unwarranted. The shady ones will always fall back on the excuse of it being harmless words being traded on a public forum.
Ha! Naija…you're the first real fan I had…so none of our convos have been "meaningless" to me. Plus, Sabrina has seen your tough love comments to me…so that was never an issue. It was a quick and meaningless fight….I just have been getting a lot of feedback from other readers about their relationships as well…so thought it was good thing to post about!
Haha Just teasing, hun. Don't mind me. =P It's definitely a good topic to cover, I'm just playing devil's advocate for those who do have something to worry about. It's rough out there in those Twitter streets.
Btw, did I ever mention that I like the site's new look? Clean and simple, and I now get to see responses in my inbox. #Win!
I've had no twitter issues or any social media for that matter. Oh I lie there was a facebook issue but it wasn't because of followers or wall messages. It was because he was using one of those dating facebook apps (which is fine) and they were posting to his wall (not fine).
I don't think you can really get mad over twitter messages unless your other half is talking about you.
Hey lovely,
I'm telling you Twitter will bite you in the ass at one point in your life. I'd bet on it!!
It can only bite you on the ass if you care what the person has to say. Plus I'm female, I always have something else to throw at a guy if he gets mad at me.
He's mad at me for a tweet, all of a sudden I'm mad because he's following his exgirlfriend.
Women always win
Great point! Touche! lol
And here I come in to be all judgmental.
I tend to agree with your girlfriend. It's not the flirting that is a problem. It's the apparent need for attention that is concerning. In my most recentl relationship, I knew that anything I said publicly could be misconstrued. In fact, I can even remember tweeting at you and saying I had to censor myself because I sometimes forget that I'm having a public conversation, with a guy no less. I hate to break it to you, but these are the things you need to consider when you're in a relationship. There's appropriate and inappropriate. I would never in a million years date a guy who blogged about his personal life or tweeted/flirted with the opposite sex on Twitter. It's just a sign that they need way too much attention.
Thanks Moxie for your "tough love" comments!
Always much appreciated.
You are right on time with this post. If I had a church fan I'd be waving and saying AMEN! And Kudos to you for speaking your mind.
But I disagree with your bottom line. I think part of the problem is things can be READ in many different ways, and sometimes misconstrued. Messages are ambiguous and direct at the same time and we both know that people use the magic of words: double meanings/metaphors/analogies just to test what other people will say. To me at the end of the day, those that are being hurt deserve the right for us to say…'I care about your feelings and whatever you have a problem with, I will stop/change/start.'
#justsaying
Thanks for commenting!
I understand that things can get "lost in translation" and although I agree that a significant other can voice their concerns, you should always be able to explain yourself without a fight…especially if it's a tweet.
The short answer to the title of this post? Yes.
The long answer to the title of this post? YES!
My bf isn't on twitter but if he was, I wouldn't follow him. I'm FB friends with my bf but I mute his feed so I don't see anything upsetting, don't link us in the dreaded RELATIONSHIP STATUS, and don't get to into our relationship anywhere he might read. Thankfully, he's not a blog reader.
I don't know. It's still new, so I'm afraid I'll jinx it. Our connection is super strong, which is awesome to me, but which can be scary to guys, and I don't want to scare him off.
Hey Kat!
Thanks for agreeing with me and it definitely sounds like you're smarter than most. (me included)
I gotta share a personal experience off being friends w/ my lady on FB…my cousin wrote on my wall asking if we were hitting KoD to hang out…I commented back w/ a running joke between the fellas…my lady's friend (who I foolishly accepted the request from) texted her saying "oh you let him go to strip clubs? He talks like that on his FB?"…and my response was, it's my effin page! If you don't like it, delete me…my general rule of thumb is what you say online doesn't require an offline explanation nor does it warrant an squabble
Sidebar: be leery of your significant other commenting on your tweets when he/she claims not to have a Twitter page…that's the equivalent of them going through your phone while you're in the bathroom…no dice
HA! Man, I'm so glad a dude commented on this article! I wrote a past article where my ex had changed her number to my current gf's number just to spy on me….women are very tricky….but I agree with you 100 percent: what you say online shouldn't require an offline explanation…unless of course you're openly hitting on another girl…then you're just asking for it!
Brilliant post! I have replied to it here:
http://www.mommyhasaheadache.blogspot.com/2012/02…
I say we need to smash our ipads and start wearing knee britches