by Jimmy Jacob on Monday, March 5th, 2012 - - 7 CommentsRelationships, Romance
While I was hacking away and praying for God to take me out, Sabrina was happier than I have ever seen her. She was bringing me Neo-citran, tissues boxes , homemade soup and screeners of movies she had to review this week.
While being forced to drink garlic and ginger tea, I looked over at her and she was all smiles.
“You’re loving this, aren’t you?” I said in between coughs.
“I can’t say otherwise.” she said with a smirk. ”This is a milestone and it falls on the same day as another milestone for us.”
I knew this was my cue to prove to her I knew what she was talking about. However my vacant stare gave myself away.
“You don’t remember, do you?” she asked.
“Umm…is it New Year’s Eve already? Have I been in a Neo-Citran induced coma for that long?” I joked.
She didn’t find it funny—not in the slightest.
“No.” she replied angrily.
“Oh, I got it! It’s two months from the day you first farted in front of me!” I said.
“NO! It’s not!” she shouted.
I then looked through my blog posts and nodded my head.
“Well, actually it is. ” I said.
She then sighed and said, “We met for the first time six years ago today.”
“Oh.” I blushed.
“Yeah, Oh is right. I feel so stupid.” she said as she got up to leave.
“Sabrina, I’m sorry, it’s just…”
“It’s just that our relationship over the past six years has mattered far more to me than it has to you. I’m leaving. Enjoy the soup and I hope this fight inspires you to write another blog.”
“Well, at least I remembered a milestone!” I said as she slammed the door.
While sitting there coughing on my own phlegm, I started to think about anniversaries and what should be considered as one. For men, we’re basically trained to not forget the day you make your relationship official, however women tend to constitute many things as anniversaries such as the first time you kissed, watched a sunset and said the L word.
Is it really fair to get mad at your boyfriend for not remembering the dates of these “anniversaries” and for forgetting to acknowledge said anniversaries with gifts?
If so, then maybe I should be a little upset for her not acknowledging the first time I let her eat the last chicken wing on my plate and not providing me a pound of wings as a gift for it.
Does that sound stupid? I think so.
So for the majority of the weekend, I spent it thinking about how I can correct this situation. Two days was the longest I hadn’t spoken to Sabrina so I knew I had to act fast.
Last morning, I knocked on her door. She answered it and was not amused.
“What?” she said.
“Listen, I’m sorry I didn’t remember the specific date I met you. Maybe it’s because that day wasn’t a day I considered special. At that time, you were just my buddy’s friend and I was just the douche guy my buddy talked about behind my back to you to make himself look good.” I replied.
“I didn’t think you were a douche.” she said defensively.
“Yes, you did. As I recall, you said, ‘Anyone who uses dating personals to f*ck a girl is a huge douche.”
“Oh yeah, I did!” she said.
“Right and that is why I don’t consider that to be anniversary we should share. However, I don’t want you thinking that our relationship is not special to me. You see, women are better with dates and men are better with locations. So grab your coat and I will take you on a tour of all the places I share a milestone with you.”
Intrigued yet skeptical, Sabrina grabbed her coat and let me take her around the city.
I first took her to one of my local hangouts, Mackenzie’s Pub in Bloor West Village. We shared two Guinesses at a booth.
“What is so significant about this place? We meet here all the time.” she said.
“Yes, but six months after we met, we were hanging out here while you were visiting from Montreal and you excused yourself to go to the bathroom. This was the very booth we sat at when I first checked out your ass when you left for john.”
She stared at me blankly. Clearly, I was going to have to try harder.
I then took her to Rainbow Cinema down by the Esplanade.
“Why are we at this cheap ass theatre?” she quipped.
“Remember when we saw The Wicker Man remake before we started dating in September 2006 here and laughed our asses off?” I asked.
“Oh right, our first movie!” she exclaimed.
“Yes, but while sitting there beside you in this theatre, it was the first time I had pictured putting whipped cream all over your naked body.”
She then sighed. Again, I was obviously going to have to try harder.
I then took her to a huge Tim Horton’s way downtown. She looked puzzled.
“So what is the significance over Timmy’s? You had a sexual daydream about me while ordering a double double?” she said sarcastically.
“No.” I laughed. ”This used to be a ghetto fitness centre in 2006. When I first started to like you and when you told me over MY SPACE that you were coming down a month in advance. I got a month membership here and started working out so I would look good for you.”
“Aww…you did that?” she said.
“Yes. Although, I gave up after 2 weeks in. You were still my inspiration. ” I said.
“Is this almost done?” she said.
“One more place!” I said.
I then took her to The Scarborough Bluffs. The fact that she wasn’t ready to hike a huge cliff, pissed her off beyond belief, but then we got to the top of the cliff.
“Is this where you had sex with a random girl while thinking of me?” she said in between huffing and puffing.
“No. This is where I let out steam after I broke up with you early 2007. I screamed at the top of my lungs. I had no idea what was wrong with me.”
“Really? You drag me to a cliff to bring up the most painful memory I have of you? Can we go home, please?” she said.
She didn’t speak to me for the entire TTC commute home and anyone who lives in Toronto, knows how long that commute is from the Bluffs.
Back in Bloor West Village, I had begged Sabrina to come back to my apartment. When I got her there, I told her to sit on the couch. She sat there silently fuming when I came back out with a box.
“Okay, so I don’t really consider New Year’s Eve our true anniversary. Our real anniversary is December 22nd, 2006. It’s when you came up and we shared our first night together.”
“You remember the date?” she said as she broke her silence.
“Of course I do. I just never wanted to let you know I knew before. ” I then opened up the box.
I told her the box contained all of her mementos she had ever given me in the past and all the letters she had written me after we broke up. It even contained her half used body butter containers and perfumes she had left at my place. I told her that after that date, I had collected everything I could.
“I don’t know whether this is the most romantic thing you have done for me or the creepiest thing you have done for me, but I love you.” she said and she gave me a kiss.
So, specific dates of anniversaries don’t necessary matter. As long as you both can share memories from time to time, that’s all that should matter.
I’m happy to say that Sabrina and I are back on track–aside from the slip up of her finding a pair of her panties in the box minutes after we had made up.
So Personal Facts readers, what do you consider to be an anniversary?