by Jimmy Jacob on Wednesday, April 4th, 2012 - - 1 CommentUncategorized
Keeping up with Nando’s 25 Days To A Better You Challenge , I did my third day homework which was about the every day scams we pull in our personal lives.
Based off Nando’s explanation for scams, they are complaints and lies we tell others and ourselves to keep us from being responsible for our actions (or lack there of) in certain aspects of our lives.
While writing the scams I currently pull in my life, (which all have to do with my diet and drinking habits by the way) I realized how many dating scams I have pulled in my life and more importantly, the scams so many others are continuously pulling in their personal dating lives.
So here are some dating scams we have all told others and ourselves that need to stop now:
“I only attract crazy people or commitment phobes.”
I remember telling myself this one back in the day. (Well, just the crazy people part–I admit I was a commitment phobe.) Besides the woman I dated who is responsible for the scar on my eyebrow (Click Here For Details) and my “Fatal Attraction” doppelganger ex, I never really dated crazy women. In fact, if anything, I made them crazy. When you tell people or yourself that the only people you attract are crazy or scared of commitment, then maybe you need to look in the mirror for the answer. Think about it: the only thing these people have in common is YOU. YOU are the problem and YOU are also the solution if you can stop throwing yourself constant pity parties. When you recognize your unhealthy patterns, you won’t be complaining about attracting negative people in your life.
“We live together. I feel like we’re just going through the motions and the intense passion we used to have has died.”
We all know that relationships are work and when you live together, they are even harder to maintain. However, you can’t blame the fact that you live together as the reason why your relationship has fizzled out. You need to blame your laziness instead. If you really love the person you’re with, then you need to fight for them CONSTANTLY no matter how good or bad your relationship is. Are you putting effort into your appearance? Are you leaving the door open when you’re going to washroom? Are you just sitting in front of the television together night after night? Then stop complaining and step it up! You are always responsible for the lack of passion and intensity in your relationship. So stop feeling sorry for yourself and fight!!
“He/She Only Uses Me For Sex.”
To be quite honest, this one is meant for women because men usually don’t complain about being used for sex. When a gal pal or sibling complains to me about being used for sex by a guy, I give them one chance to mope. However when the word “only” is used in the same sentence, then that implies that you were aware he used you for sex before and you are continuing to be used by the same douche bag. I really have no sympathy for women who just don’t realize their self-worth. You don’t want to be used for sex? Don’t answer your phone at 2 in the morning when he calls for a drunken booty call. Don’t put your head in his lap when watching a movie at home after he specifically said he wasn’t interested in having a relationship. And especially don’t expect him to like you more after giving it up to him. It’s really that simple!
So in closing, it is crucial for you to stop creating dating scams in your relationships because if you don’t, then you have no one but you to blame but yourself for why your relationships are not going the way you want them to. Instead of pointing the finger at others, start pointing it at yourself for a change. Once you take responsibility for your actions, (both good or bad) you will be able to make the necessary changes you need to improve your dating life.