Why You Should Not Implement The “90 Day Rule” Into Your Dating Lives

by on Tuesday, May 1st, 2012 - 4 Comments - Casual Sex, Confessions, Sex

90-day-rule-sexA little while ago, I took my girlfriend to go see Think Like A Man so she could add more attractive men to her celebrity freebie list and so I could fume over a comedian making money for doing something that I do for free every week.

Although the dating tips and advice offered in the movie were both generic and unfortunately true, there was one rule that flabbergasted me: The “Don’t Give Up The Cookie” For 90 Days Rule.

As soon as we heard that, my girlfriend and I looked at each other and laughed out loud in unison.

While I was wondering why any woman would think this was a good idea, (and wondering why on earth a woman’s vagina is now universally being referred to as a “cookie.”) I saw many women in the audience nodding their heads in agreement with the ludicrous suggestion.

After walking out of the theatre, I asked Sabrina if she ever implemented the ’90 Day Rule’ and she laughed and admitted to saying once.

Of course, when I asked who it was, it was her ex-boyfriend who ended up leaving her for another man.

Over the past six and a half years of knowing Sabrina, I now know better not to point and laugh at her for this if I want to avoid being slapped upside my head.

We then went out for some much needed drinks and dissected why women should not implement the 90 Day Rule into their dating lives and here are some reasons we came up with:

Don’t Treat Your “Cookie” Like A Full-Time Job

Okay, I get why women want to wait 3 months–because just like a job, you want a man to work for your “cookie.”  However, do you really want men to treat sex with you like a full-time job and better yet, are you prepared to offer sex full-time after he’s done his “probational period?”  Yeah, I didn’t think so. Unless you’re going to offer up your cookie from nine to five for five days a week, it’s best to avoid implementing this rule or you run the risk of him leaving for another “job” that offers more benefits so to speak.

Your New Boyfriend Should Not Pay For Your Ex’s Mistakes

When women incorporate this rule into their dating lives, it’s usually because of some jerk off they dated before.  It always seems that good men are paying for asshole’s bed-hopping mistakes and it makes us sick.  A good man will wait when you are ready, but if we know that you gave it up on the first date with your ex, then we will probably not take too kindly to this information.

Makes You Look A Major Control Freak

When it comes to dating, men want women who “go with the flow.” We love women that treat their relationships like adventures to discover.  We understand that we shouldn’t get in your pants on the first date, but when you implement a 3 month rule right off the bat, that’s a major turn off–not because you are a prude, but that you are already controlling the outcome of an aspect of the relationship. It’s a major red flag!

What If You Already Know Each Other For A Long Time?

Sabrina and I slept together on the first date, however we had already knew each other for close to a year.  A lot of people are friends before they are lovers these days and if you already know each other inside and out, why should wait any longer to know each other…well.. “inside and out?”

You Honestly Think Players Can’t Wait Three Months?

Women usually think that this rule will automatically rule out the players from the genuine men, but I can tell you right now that generalization is false.  Just like what Eddie Murphy had said in his infamous “Raw” stand-up, a man can wait to have sex with you even if he doesn’t like you anymore.  It then becomes a game to get in your pants and once he hits it, he might pull a disappearing act on you.

What If The Sex Isn’t Good?

So you waited three months and then you have sex—only to discover that he lacks girth, performance and stamina. So now you started genuinely caring about someone who doesn’t please you in the sack.  A waste of time if you ask me.

So in conclusion, I’m not saying that waiting to have sex in a new relationship is bad, but do it when the time is right–and not when someone who had three failed marriages in real-life tells you when the time is right.

So what do you guys think? Do you think the 90 day rule works? Let me know in the comment section below!




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4 Responses to “Why You Should Not Implement The “90 Day Rule” Into Your Dating Lives”

  1. KitKatCuty84 says:

    I love this blog, so I'll apologize if this comment comes off hostile. I do have strong opinions about this topic, however.

    I honestly don't mind the idea of women waiting for sex. I think more women should. Three months, three dates, until marriage, whatever. I think women are taking too much advice from MEN on what to do with their bodies, as if they're not a bias source of information. They want to have sex with you, so suddenly there's every reason in the world why not having sex with them is a horrible idea. But in reality, most of the time, I've seen people regret having sex, not NOT having sex. I will agree, however, that players can wait 90 days too, and waiting doesn't avoid being played.

    I also think it's kind of a pot/kettle scenario when men bemoan us using our past experiences to affect our current practices. In what situation should we not learn from our past? When you learn how not to touch a hot stove from being burned, it's gaining wisdom. When you learn not to give sex out immediately it's BAGGAGE? I call BS. I also think PLENTY of guys are going/have gone around pillaging the female population because some girl back in the day broke their heart (the author of this post included). If that's not taking your relationship past out on future (possible) relationships, I don't know what is. And yet we're not allowed to do it?

    If you've already known each other a long time, I don't think this rule applies, and if the sex isn't good, that's unfortunate, but it can improve. But I don't think the 90-day rule should be discouraged in a time when too many people are having too much sex with too many people who don't value sex or the person at all.

    • Nobody is suggesting that waiting is a bad idea, its the idea of having a set time that's stupid. If you're not grown up enough to work out when your ready on your own you're probably not grown up enough to be having sex in the first place.

      There's no point in waiting for the sake of waiting. When you regret sleeping with somebody its the person you regret not the time you waited. People should take responsibly for that and not blame the calender .

      And who are you to say people are having too much sex? As long as people are being safe about it there is no such thing as too much sex. Sex is actually good for you and a lot of fun when done right. Also you can't fix bad sex, you can buy a bullet vibe and pleasure yourself while he does his thing but a sexual spark is either there or not, you cant change that.

  2. Jimmy Jacob says:

    Hey Kat,

    I get what you're saying and if you read my article, I wasn't condoning having sex right away. I think it's commendable to wait, but I'm a realist–and I'm not the only one.

    I think it's okay to have sex as soon as you're ready and I think most adults are ready before the three month deadline.

    I personally don't know anyone who succeeded with the 90 day rule–and I also personally think more people should embrace their sexuality and if you find that person–why wait 90 days?

    You can a wait a week or 200 days…but as long as you set your own rules, that's what matters.

  3. IceQueen says:

    I agree with having sex when you are ready too, the 3 month rule seems like it is about the man rather than you as a woman.

    Women think waiting 3 moths the man will "respect" them, will "wife" them blah blah. A man can wait but could be sleeping with other women whilst he is waiting, he could wait and then dump you when he gets what he wants…waiting is no guarantee for anything

    Why is waiting never about the woman and her needs and wants? If I'm waiting its about me and wanting to feel comfortable enough around the guy to be that intimate with him, plus work out if he the type of person I would want to sleep with its nothing to do with him per se.

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