by Jimmy Jacob on Monday, May 28th, 2012 - - 8 CommentsBreak Ups, Confessions
Since I started writing for this personal dating blog, I have read many other dating blogs from excellent female writers. I always advise my buddies that if they ever really wanted to know what women want or what women are thinking to check out a couple of blogs written by women and they would have a good idea.
One of the things I have realized is that you ladies give us men a lot of power when it comes to relationships but more importantly, breakups.
I don’t mean to generalize all women because I know there are women that have no problem dumping men, but I have recognized a disturbing if not slightly humorous pattern while reading a lot of blogs from the female perspective.
A lot of women will bitch about their significant others, point out the obvious red flags and then when their boyfriends eventually do dump them, they act like they were blind sided and take on the role of the “victim.”
They will also make their exes look like bad guys by saying how easy it was to cast them aside instead of admitting that maybe they actually were doing them a favor by breaking up.
Let me tell you right now that dumping someone is NOT easy. It’s stressful as f*ck and I think a lot of women know this because if not, they would be more inclined to “pull the trigger” so to speak.
However, there are some other key factors why I personally think why some women are too scared to be the dumpers:
1. Too Scared To Be Alone
This one is a given. I know a lot of women who have stayed in a bad relationship because they were too scared to be single, to sleep in a double bed alone and to be in a cuddle-free environment. It’s ironic considering how bad relationships make you feel more alone than being single.
2. Too Scared Of Changing Their Facebook Statuses To Single
This one is so superficial but it’s amazing how our Facebook relationship statuses have dictated our decisions in our personal love lives. No woman likes seeing that broken heart show up on their friends’ newsfeeds for all to see. To avoid this, just remove your relationship status altogether so you don’t get any pity comments on your wall.
3. Too Concerned Comparing Their Own Relationships To Others
Although women don’t like to admit it, a lot of them are always competing with their friends in regards to their love lives. (Click HERE for more details) They will compete over how many Facebook couple photos they have, who will co-habitate first and how many romantic vacation spots to go to. I knew this girl who was visibly miserable in her relationship and she got engaged. When I asked her why she said yes, she told me, “Because that’s what is expected of me at this point.” Sad, but very true.
4. Too Scared He Will Find The Love You Didn’t Have With Someone Else
A lot of women treat break ups like a “rat race” to new and blissful relationships. And although a lot of women have no trouble moving on to new men, the thought that their ex will be able to move on with someone who they are truly happy with makes them sick to their stomachs. Even if they are not in love with their exes anymore, they don’t want to picture them with someone else before they have found the man of their dreams.
5. They’re Waiting For Another Prospect
I find that the only time a woman has no problem dumping their boyfriends is when there is another guy (usually an ex) waiting in the wings. Like working at a job they hate, a lot of women will not quit until a better prospect is secured.
Although, the number one reason why I think women are too scared to be the dumpers is that many women try to make a bad thing work. When it comes to relationships, women are hoarders whereas men tend to throw away good relationships that COULD work.
Life is way too short ladies to stay in a bad relationship and I truly think no lady will be able to find the happiness they have been seeking in their lives without being the dumper at least ONCE in their lifetimes. Being the dumper sucks but it is also very liberating. It means you won’t settle for less and that is worth being single for a while.
If you’re in a bad relationship, then get out now. Don’t wait for the guy to do it for you because you might wait for a long time and eventually you will realize you are not just wasting time, but you are wasting your life.
Need pointers? Check out my ‘Claim Your Breakup’ post!