by Jimmy Jacob on Tuesday, June 19th, 2012 - - 5 CommentsConfessions, Deal Breakers, Love, Relationships, Turn offs
You’re probably wondering where the hell have I been. Did I go on a nice vacation? Perhaps a nice wedding? Unfortunately, no. For the past week and a half, I have been redeeming myself as a boyfriend since I was in the doghouse with my girlfriend.
In every relationship, you will be tested and the past few weeks I have been tested immensely with my girlfriend’s new found friendship with a male co-worker named Jeff.
It started out small at first. She would speak about this guy Jeff in passing. “Oh, Jeff said this” and “Oh my god, Jeff did the funniest thing at work.” It got under my skin a bit but I didn’t let it bother me considering the fact that I talk to many women online due to this dating blog.
However, my patience was tested one night after Sabrina had decided to go out after work with her co-workers. She told me she would be at my place no later than ten. I decided to surprise her with a candlelit dinner and when she had asked me to pick up some Physician’s Formula cosmetics at the drug store by my apartment because it was on sale, I did it with no problem. (By the way, makeup is a lot more embarrassing to buy than tampons when you’re a dude.)
So I waited and waited and waited for her until I finally got a call from her at midnight saying she was walking out of High Park subway station.
I decided to walk downstairs and meet her since she sounded pretty inebriated on the phone. I was mildly annoyed that she had not called me to tell me she was going to be late, but since she never really goes out and parties, I figured, what the hell, let her have her fun.
I didn’t realize that she would be stumbling to my place with JEFF holding her up. I couldn’t even hide the fury on my face.
She came up to me and gave me a drunken kiss on the cheek and I flinched.
The adonis Jeff shook my hand and told me it was nice to meet me finally. I snarled back with “like-wise.”
He told me that he wanted to make sure she got home safely and tried to shake my hand. I didn’t extend my hand and said thanks. (Douche move I know, but hell, I’m human.)
He took my rudeness as a cue to leave and said good-bye.
Then shit went down.
Sabrina started screaming at me for being so rude. I yelled back because she was being disrespectful.
“Oh my god, am I not allowed to have any male friends now?” she argued.
“Oh cut the sh*t! Put yourself in my f*cking shoes, alright?” I yelled back.
“Actually I have every day since you started your site!” she screamed.
“That is not the same thing and you f*cking know that, Sabrina! I f*cking make you a candlelit dinner. I pick up some f*cking makeup for you that looks like god damn birth control and then you have this Patrick Muldoon looking motherf*cker named JEFF drop you off at my place? Who the f*ck do I look like? Zack f*cking Morris?”
At this point, the whole High Park neighbourhood was on their balconies listening to our argument.
She then told me that it’s not like that and that he respects our relationship. I laughed and told her that’s exactly what a guy says before stealing another girl from a guy and she scoffed and said, “Well, you would know all about that, right?”
I inhaled and exhaled slowly before speaking again.
“Listen, I have taken full responsibility for past mistakes. You chose to be with me, so that means you chose to forgive me. Do I ever throw in your face how f*cking crazy you appeared years ago sending me 5 page emails and rambling voicemails begging me to talk to you? Do you honestly think your behavior was any less offensive than mine?”
I then saw a familiar look on her face. A look I hadn’t seen for almost a year. (Click HERE for more details) Tears started running down her cheeks and instead of comforting her, I called a cab, gave her cab money and went upstairs while she screamed my name.
I couldn’t sleep that entire night. I knew at the end of the argument that I was in the wrong, however I knew deep down that I was right to be upset with her and that is because there are unwritten rules when it comes to socializing with the opposite sex while you’re in a relationship. No one really discusses these rules in fear of admitting that there a territorial aspect of every monogamous relationship, but I don’t care how trusting and loyal you are, there are certain things that will piss off your partner regardless and I will list a few below.
Unwritten Rule #1: Any New Friend Of The Opposite Sex You Make While In A Relationship Is Always Going To Get Under Your Partner’s Skin
…..especially if they’re good-looking. I’m a pretty laidback guy. When it comes to male friends that are already in my girlfriend’s life, I could care less. Obviously, you can’t get upset about people already in your partner’s life before you came along. Although, when your significant other starts hanging out with a good-looking person of the opposite sex while you’re dating, yes it’s going to piss you off! It’s human.
Unwritten Rule #2: You Never Dress Up More Than You Would For Your Significant Other When Meeting Up With Your New Friend
If you want your partner to question your fidelity to them, start dressing up more when you’re on your way to meeting your new sexy friend. The rule of thumb should be don’t dress up anymore than you would if you were meeting up with your significant other.
Unwritten Rule #3: Don’t Talk To Your New Friend On FB Or Twitter More Than You Would With Your Other Friends
The last thing your significant other wants to see is a string of exchanges between you and your new friend on his or her Facebook wall. Sure, you’re putting it out in the open and you would think that would make your partner less suspicious. Think again.
Unwritten Rule #4: Never Hang Out With Them During Date Nights
In my opinion, unless you’re at a party with mutual friends, you really have no business hanging out with them on Friday and Saturday nights. It’s just going to cause unwanted and unneeded drama at home.
Unwritten Rule #5: Your Partner Should Always Meet Your New Friend
You should always be open to introducing your new friend to your significant other. The more you hide your friendship, the more suspicious it looks.
After three days of not talking, Sabrina and I finally talked it out. We both apologized and she told me the only reason why she was hanging out more with JEFF was because she had more free time because I was always planning my next blog article. So it was then I decided to take a little vacation from online in order for her to know that SHE ultimately comes first. (You guys are a close second though that’s for sure.)
So now, everything is great and I actually agreed to a double date with Sabrina, Jeff and his lover—–STEVE.
Don’t I feel stupid.