The Women We Want Vs The Women We F*ck
by Jimmy Jacob on Thursday, June 21st, 2012 - 9 Comments - Confessions, Relationships, Turn offs
Recently I received an email from a female reader asking what makes a woman “girlfriend material” to a man and what do ladies do that only makes them “f*ck buddy material” to them as well.
I am neither or saint nor a sinner–although I have done things that I am proud and ashamed of when it comes to my love and sex life. When it comes to men, we all have different agendas. Some guys want to seriously date the dumb ass girls who are nothing more than trophies and then some guys want to take advantage of the smart, kind, yet emotionally damaged girl who lacks self-worth.
Yes, some of us are idiots and dogs, but even the good guys have standards when it comes to who they want in their hearts or who they want in and promptly out of their beds.
So here is my personal list of the differentiating qualities of women we want versus the women we f*ck:
GF Material: Women Who Use The Word ‘Like’ As A Verb
FWB Material: Women Who Use The Word ‘Like’ In Every Other Word In A Sentence.
It’s a sad realization that so many women today have replaced ‘umm’ with ‘like.’ I don’t know if we should blame Friends or Kim Kardashian, but the word is far too infused in a woman’s vocabulary and by saying it multiple times in a sentence, it makes them look stupid even if they’re not. So when we can find a woman who uses the word as a verb rather than using it as a way to fill up a sentence, it’s alluring.
GF Material: Women Who Have A Signature Scent
FWB Material: Women Who Smell Like Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory
Forget what you heard, ladies: Contrary to what Cosmopolitan has said, men do not want their women smelling like pumpkin pie. If you think you’re going to get his motor running with that Vanilla Icing Cupcake body butter, then think again. A man likes a woman with a signature scent that is different than the rest. (Something spicy) Also, you’ll make a lasting impression by keeping to the same scent rather than changing it to all those fruity scents that work better as a lip gloss than a perfume.
GF Material: Women Who Appreciate The Little Things
FWB Material: Women Who Appreciate The Pointless Things
Life is full of so much bullshit, that sometimes the only way to get by is to appreciate the little things. For instance, the reason why I was attracted my girlfriend is that she values a good sunset, a good book and she would appreciate a cheese plate and a cheap bottle of red wine over jewelery any day. When a woman only appreciates reality shows, a celebrity’s twitterfeed and the latest In Touch magazine, then we see pursuing them seriously as pointless as the things they put value on.
GF Material: A Woman Who Can Take A Joke
FWB Material: A Woman Who Thinks Everything Is A Joke
Just like when we were kids, guys like to poke fun at the girls they have crushes on. The second we know that you can take a joke and dish playful insults back in return, we find that very sexy. On the other hand, women who laugh at everything we have to say seem dull as f*ck. We don’t mind having our egos stroked every so often, however if the only thing you can contribute to the conversation is your laughter than we’re only interested in you stroking something else for fifteen minutes and then leaving.
GF Material: A Woman Who Lives By Her Own Rules
FWB Material: A Woman Who Lives By A Book Or Television Show’s Rules
One of the most alluring things that my girlfriend said to me back in the day (when I was asking her about her “past”) was that “a woman should always maintain a little mystery about herself.” When I asked her why, she said it was just a rule that her mother taught her when she was a teenager. I found this incredibly intriguing. However, women who live their lives by what Sex And The City, Girls and Think Like A Man dictates, is generic, predictable and uninteresting.
GF Material: A Woman Who Plays Hard To Get
FWB Material: A Woman Who Wastes No Time
Like the late and great Tupac had so eloquently said:
Cries when she leaves me / And every time she sees me, she squeeze me. / Lady take it easy… / Hate to sound sleazy, but tease me, / I don‘t want it if it’s that easy.
GF Material: A Woman Who Can Hang With The Guys
FWB Material: A Woman Who Claims She’s “One Of The Guys.”
A woman who can watch action films, drink beer, eat chicken wings is sexy because of she’s laid-back. Although a woman who claims and takes pride in the fact that she is “one of the guys” is someone men don’t want to be serious about. Why you may be wondering? These girls are so desperate for male attention and they are not more fun to be around, despite how often they exclaim the opposite. A woman with only male friends is actually not low maintenance at all. They are actually so high maintenance that they need four to ten loser guys around them to keep their precious egos properly stroked. Does that sound like the fun and laid back type of chick any rational guy wants to date? Yeah, I didn’t think so.
Thoughts? Let me know in the comment section below!
Jimmy! Great post as always-and of course v. helpful
my only issue/question: I sense a bit of intellectual superiority going on here; so are “dumb” girls only worth a quick fuck? Perhaps they’re girlfriend material to “dumb” sports-watching, ball-scratching, Hooters-frequenting dudes….? What sayest thou?
I like the difference between a woman who appreciates the "little" things and one who appreciates the "pointless" things.
Ooh. Great post, J … but I think I need to paste that Tupac quote up over my bathroom mirror. ; )
I'm a little bit of both, I suppose. I laugh ALL THE TIME, but that is because I find humor in the most random things. I am brilliant (says the gal names Ms. Cheevious), a writer, a thinker, and I wear Paloma Picasso (SPICY) perfume… I also LOVE to borrow my boyfriend's Old Spice deodorant. I like it spicy too. I use like as a non-verb occasionally, but mostly (I hope, like, totally) as a verb.. I am one of the guys – and am quite certain when they were handing out hormones, I got more than my fair share of TESTOSTERONE. But I'm as girly as it gets. Can you say "Hold your cute versace bag on your arm, in stilettos while you swing these nunchuks in the other hand?" lol I have video to prove it. But that was the silly me. The serious me is a bad ass rock climber and I take no prisoners.
All this to say – women just need to be who they REALLY are – and if they don't know who they are, DON'T look for cues from TV. Get out, read some literature, and experience life.
great, succinct post! love the headline good vs not-so-good thing… I don't really fit in many molds… but it's true women need to develop a sense of true self and get out of the shallow waters.
Great post and so true! Your perspective of Hang with the Guys vs One of the Guys is interesting. Do you think a woman who has men as friends is an 'attention whore' ? I ask because I had a comment from another male blogger stating that he felt the same way. Does it boil down to men and women can't be genuine friends? If so, I find that sad.
I LOVE this. Thank goodness I'm not a fruity lotion kinda gal. I have a signature scent that I LOVE and while I love drinking beer and watching hockey I have more girl friends than guy friends. I enjoy hanging with the guys but given a choice I love a girls night. It's nice to know that I'm girlfriend material though I could probably work on the "make him work for it" bullet point…hey I have needs too!
Another great post.
Great post … now where was this advice a couple years back? I might have fallen into the "other" category a few times … but shh don't tell anyone!
Applauds…for this one. I love your take on this and you are right completely. I have seen people like that and remember the mistakes they made first hand. You have to set the tone from the gate or it's already too late. You get only 1 chance to make an impression and once an opinion of you is already formed..it's difficult to change it later.