by Jimmy Jacob on Monday, June 25th, 2012 - - 6 CommentsConfessions, Love, Relationships
There are many joys of being in a loving relationship. Regular laughter, smiles and sex are just to name a few of them. Although, when you experience the irregular things, it’s not as joyous–in fact, it’s downright scary.
There are two words put together that will scare any man and last weekend I heard them: “I’m late.”
When a guy hears those two little words, he wants to run, cry, scream and throw up especially if he is not ready to be a father.
When Sabrina dropped the bomb on me, I tried to stay calm, tried to say all the right things, but I when I opened my mouth, I might as well been Serene Branson reporting news on the Grammys last year.
Since both of us are not as financially stable as we should be at our ages (due to the fact that we live in a city that no longer has a middle class) and the fact that we’re old enough to be parents, (even if we both don’t want to be right now) we’ve never been so scared before in our lives.
The next few hours were a blur of emotions, however we handled it accordingly and if you’re a guy in a similar situation like this, here are some guidelines to get through it:
Keep Her The F*ck Away From The Computer!
Don’t ever let your girlfriend type up symptoms on the computer. She will not only scare the living shit out of herself but she will do the same to you as well. My girlfriend went from thinking she was pregnant to thinking she had ovarian cancer in less than two minutes just because her breasts weren’t sore. (I’m not even f*cking joking.) So, if you’re having a pregnancy scare, stay away from the computer because only a pregnancy test will give you the answer you need.
Don’t Try To Have Sex With Her
Not that you’re going to be particularly horny anyway because hearing “I’m late” will automatically make you temporarily impotent, but if you are trying to distract yourself from the situation through sex, she will not be having it–AT ALL.
Don’t Play The Blame Game
It’s easy to get mad at each other during a pregnancy scare. Even though you might want to scream at the top of your lungs, “How the f*ck aren’t you on birth control already?” or “Why did you ride me so hard that the condom literally burned rubber?”–DON’T. Let’s face it: You both screwed up and pointing fingers is not going to make the situation any easier.
Spend The Day With One Another
Although you must be thinking that taking a pregnancy test should be the first thing on this list, I will tell you why it’s not. What if your girlfriend really is pregnant? The second you see that positive sign, your relationship immediately changes and it won’t ever be the same again regardless if you decide to keep the baby or not. That is why you should take the day off and do all the fun things you can think of before you eventually have to take the test. I took my girlfriend to Centre Island in Toronto and we rode the Scrambler, walked around, ate ice cream and spent the night on Ward Beach where I built a fire for us. It was an incredible night and this reassured her that no matter what the test results were going to be, that I was going to be by her side through it all.
Now You Can Take The Pregnancy Test
After you had a great day with one another, wake up and have her take the test. Morning pee is apparently the strongest to detect the pregnancy hormone and you shouldn’t delay it any further. Don’t let her take it alone. You have every right to be there by her side–unless of course she doesn’t want you to watch her pee on a stick. In that case, just wait on the couch until she opens the door.
So the test came up ‘negative.’ I’m not going to lie, we partied like it was 1999 and in a weird way, the whole experience made us stronger as a couple. We now know that we need to be more responsible when it comes to birth control (especially since we’re not ready to be parents) and even though we don’t want to be parents yet, we’re starting to think about moving in together. (despite how much I said I was against it in the past)
Maybe I’m not ready to be a father–but I think I am definitely ready to take “baby steps” to being the man who will be ready in the future.
Thoughts? Let me know in the comment section below!