Guest Blog: How Being A Bitch Can Save Your Love Life
by Jimmy Jacob on Wednesday, June 27th, 2012 - 6 Comments - Confessions, Deal Breakers, Guest Bloggers, Relationships, Turn offs
Hey guys!
While I’m working on a slew of guest posts for other dating blogs, I thought it would be the perfect time to introduce yet another talented, witty and beautiful blogger to Personal Facts readers.
Today’s guest post comes from the lovely “Kiss” from A KISS in the Post. What I like about this gal’s style is that she’s not afraid of telling like it is and like me, she will recall embarrassing anecdotes just to make her point.
I hope you like Kiss’ style as much as I do! Take it away, girl!
-Jimmy
Ladies,
In order to be respected, appreciated and loved by a man, YOU HAVE TO BE A BITCH. By “bitch,” I mean you have to learn to stand your ground. (I have come to embrace the term fully, it’s my “steel magnolia” of a term.) You have to learn to set the pace of any “relation” with a man from the very beginning. That means that you aren’t afraid to state what you want.
You want a booty call – it’s on your terms, you got it. You want to be in a relationship – you expect this and that. YOU DO NOT SETTLE. You cannot be too nice. Men will see that from the very beginning and they will rip you apart, piece-by-piece. They will do everything they can to: act interested, then disappear/flake and leave you high and dry. (when they feel like they have you)
They will stop putting in work in the relationship and take you for granted and see you as a MOTHER (once you lower your expectations, become too nice, GIVE A LOT and TAKE/except little, or you start to NAG, wishing things were the way “they used to be in the beginning.”)
Men are HUNTERS. They need to be kept on their toes. A bitch knows this and a bitch does this best. Distance and mystery – don’t let him know EVERYTHING. Don’t expect him to reciprocate with anything. Pull away and then you’ll see how he’ll come for more.
In order to effectively rev into motion this process, women have to deal with one of the biggest issues: FEAR. We are constantly afraid of speaking our minds because we fear the man will then just walk away. THERE’S ALWAYS GOING TO BE THAT POSSIBILITY. You can’t live in fear every day of your life; as the relationship gets stronger, you will feel more and more confident that the man in your life will want nothing more than to stick around with you. And for good reasons too: you are keeping him on his toes, you respect yourself enough to speak your mind and all that you want. You are independent, love yourself and have a life of your own. You don’t depend on him – for anything. You are your OWN PERSON and you are happy, no matter what.
Bottom line is, women stand to lose more by sticking around than by speaking their minds to men who might potentially walk out of their lives. I’d rather speak my mind and know that I have been 100% honest with myself. If he can’t see that, then he is not for me. And yes, I will know once he walks out that, as much as it would suck major balls, I DODGED A MAJOR F*CKING BULLET.
You cannot be affected by every move he makes. He is not the “be all and end all” of you. You give him as much as he gives you. You come clean about your feelings (should they ensue after a period of time) but you also keep them in check, at all times.
FOLLOW YOUR HEART, but don’t forget to TAKE YOUR BRAIN WITH YOU.
If you liked what Kiss had to say, visit her blog and send her some tweet love by following her on Twitter HERE
AMEN!!!
Is it being a bitch or not being a doormat? I speak my mind, do what I enjoy and stay my own person…if that makes me a bitch, so be it! You speak the truth that women need to hear, being overly 'nice' will not help you keep him, you will just become kept!
Yes, Marrie, that's exactly the point: sometimes speaking your mind and being who you are (or having a bit of a stronger personality) in others' eyes, makes you a bitch. But it's a term that needs to be fully embraced, without the negative and derogatory connotations.
To me, it's fully tied in with one element in principle, and that is STRENGTH. And that incorporates wisdom, smarts and much self-awareness as well. Maybe a bit thick-skinned, maybe a bit hardened. Without the bitter, the sweet just ain't as sweet.
Thanks for the support!
This was awesome! I read a book called, "Men Love Bitches" and I have to say it was true. There is nothing with being a "nice" person, but when you don't let people know where you are coming from from the gate, you're in trouble. People in general, will try and push your buttons in the beginning to see how far they can get away with and men (no offense) are no different. Nip that sh-t in the bud quick and people won't mess with you anymore. The problem is when men and women allow it to happen again and again. The respect is gone and won't be easy to get back when it wasn't established from the gate.
Speaking in relationship mode (so don't trip men), the wrong men will walk all over your a– if you let them. Not all men are like this, but on the flip-side, women will do the same thing too. I don't want no "weak" man and if I feel he is a push-over, I suddenly get "bored" and quick. I always hear that term, "nice guys finish last", but I want to know that they won't put up with crap either. I want to know that the man I am with is confident and has some self respect or I end up feeling like I could kick his a– myself. That is never a good thing.
Great post!
As a man, I agree, but I do think there has to be a balance. Once a man thinks that a woman is a bitch, then there's really no coming back from that. It can't be too overboard. There's nothing wrong with anyone speaking their minds as long as they're tactful in doing so.
It's a shame that we men play the games that we do which result in women getting hurt. But, women hold all of the cards and once all of them realize that, then their lives would become so much easier and men would act that much better.
I tend not to comment, however I looked at a ton of
responses on this page Guest Blog: How Being A Bitch Can Save Your Love Life | Personal Facts.
I do have a couple of questions for you if you tend not to mind.
Could it be simply me or does it look as if like a few of the responses appear as if they are written by brain dead visitors?
Could you make a list of all of your shared sites like your Facebook
page, twitter feed, or linkedin profile?