Why Are We Always In A Rush To Grow The F*ck Up?

by Jimmy Jacob on Tuesday, July 17th, 2012 - 15003 Commentshttp%3A%2F%2Fpersonalsfacts.com%2F2012%2F07%2F17%2Fwhy-are-we-always-in-a-rush-to-grow-the-fck-up%2FWhy+Are+We+Always+In+A+Rush+To+Grow+The+F%2Ack+Up%3F2012-07-17+18%3A22%3A21Jimmy+Jacobhttp%3A%2F%2Fpersonalsfacts.com%2F%3Fp%3D1500 - Bad Dates, Confessions, Love, Relationships

This past weekend, Sabrina and I celebrated our belated 6 months anniversary (since I was too broke at the time to take her anywhere on our actual anniversary) and considering it was Summerlicious in Toronto, (a 3 week event where you can eat 3 course meals at fancy schmancy restaurants for 25 dollars) I could finally wine and dine her like the queen that she is.

So I had planned to take her to a fancy restaurant in Yorkville called Malena’s and then we would head to our friends’ new condo in the Soho Hotel for a double date. I arrived at her apartment lobby in a BECK TAXI.

I opened the passenger door for her when she walked out the lobby.

“Your chariot awaits.” I said with a big smile on my face and to my surprise I saw her walk over to me with a tear-stained face.

I asked her what’s wrong and she said nothing.

She gets into the cab and we drive off in an awkward silence to Yorkville. I try to break the ice by saying how nice her hair was.

She scoffs at the compliment and says, “It’s not. I had to use Olive Oil on it because it was all I could afford.”

“Okay…” I replied.  “I know the PMS beast is visiting now, but what the f*ck is wrong with you?”

She sighed and said, “Jimmy, it’s just we’re almost thirty living in a city we can’t enjoy because we’re always so broke and we have to hang out with younger people who have cars, condos and envy-worthy Instagram accounts and here we are taking a cab to a restaurant we could only afford when there’s a promotional event soaking with sweat because we both don’t have A/C. We’re not being adults.”

She turned her head from me and looked out the window trying to hold back tears.

At that point, I couldn’t even comfort her.  Even though I thought she was acting ridiculous, her words stung a bit. So we stayed silent all the way to the restaurant and then I tipped the cabbie (again, more than I could afford) for the awkward as f*ck cab ride.

On the way to the restaurant I started thinking about the word ‘adulthood’ and how we all mistake its meaning throughout our lives and how we also let our negative interpretation of the word define our actions, relationships and purpose in life.

When we’re younger, we want to be adults.  When we’re adults, we desperately try to appear ‘adult’ to those around us.  The only time in our lives we are completely content with being a grown up is between 19-24, when we’re still disillusioned that the connotation of the word ‘adult’ alludes to ‘freedom’ instead of ‘prison.’

So the question really is, “Why the f*ck are we always in a rush to grow the f*ck up?”

When we arrived at the restaurant, Sabrina’s mood dropped even more when she saw how dressed up everyone was. As soon as we sat down, I told her how beautiful she looked. Again, she scoffed at my compliment.

“Sabrina, you’ve got to chill the hell out. This is supposed to be a special night. I worked overtime and avoided writing blogs for two weeks, just so I can buy us the best greek wine in the city. You’re really dampening the mood.” I said.

She gave me a guilty look and sighed.

“I’m sorry, baby. It’s just to these people, going to a restaurant like this is a regular thing when it’s an event for us. Don’t you want to save up to buy a car, a condo, a life?” she asked.

“All I want is you and the last time I checked, the key elements to building a life with you are free of charge.”

She smiled and held my hand.

“Wow, I’m acting like a total cunt, aren’t I?” she blushed.

“It’s okay. Not having any money in this city gets to me too from time to time. But let’s compare our lives with others in this restaurant.”

We look around at all the rich couples eating their dinners.

I start pointing out couples subtly to Sabrina.

“You see that couple over there? Look at the woman’s glass. She’s almost finished her glass of wine minutes after receiving it and her husband is too busy on his blackberry to notice.  He’s probably BBMing his mistress and she is probably wondering if her new vibrator will be clean enough when she gets home after rinsing it in the dishwasher.”

Sabrina starts to giggle.

“You see the couple to our left? The woman has been taking pictures of her plates of food since we got here. The most exciting things she is looking forward to are posting said pictures on her Pinterest board, watching Love In The Wild and picturing the Magic Mike cast when it comes to having boring maintenance sex with her husband later on tonight.”

Sabrina spits out her glass of water.

“Oh and look this sad, f*cking Bay Street-looking couple here. They have not uttered a word to each other since we got here.  They’re that bored of each other they literally have nothing to talk about.”

Sabrina nods.

“So you see baby, it doesn’t matter how much money you make because it doesn’t buy anyone’s respect, admiration or happiness in a relationship. It just makes it easier to cover up problems.”

I then reached into my pocket and hand her a key.

“What the hell is this?” she asks.

“It’s a key to my place.” I respond.

“I already have a key to your place to feed your fat ass cat.” she replied.

” I know. But this a special key.” I said.

“If you say this is a key to your heart, this will literally be the dumbest, f*cking gift you ever given me.” she replies.

“It’s a key to adulthood.”

She gives me a weird look.

“Listen, I don’t have a fancy place. I haven’t purchased any new furniture since 2006 and I still haven’t grown out of my pot-smoking phase like most adults our age have. I was never in a rush to grow up because I never really had someone to grow up for. So Sabrina, will you do me the pleasure of growing the f*ck up with me in a stank ass apartment we can call OURS?”

“Fuck yeah!” she exclaims.

After that, we cancelled on our double date and went straight HOME to our place to celebrate.  We may not be as adult as we like to be and our relationship may have some ups and downs, but true happiness in a relationship is never as appreciative without the occasional sadness.  We don’t need the perfect apartment and act like the perfect couple to be happy with one another.  We just need each other at this point in time and if we mature from this experience, double bonus.

Is this what being an ‘adult’ is like? Let me know in the comment section below!